I am not ashamed of my anorexia. Anybody who is bothered by it, is a big waste of my time.
I deserve a guy who wants to be seen with me; wants people to know I am his girlfriend.
I deserve a guy who loves me for who I am.
I deserve a guy who sees me not as a girl who has been anorexic but who i am not in the present.
It takes more courage to be different. They feel threatened by people who aren't like them. This is why people from home gossip about me - they can't accept that there is a different way of life. I am an anorexic and a self harmer and I dont care that they know.
I have done more with my life than the people who put me down.
I dont need to compare myself anymore. I should be proud of being unique and knowing I have friends who are just like me :)
I dont need a boy to feel good about myself.
Learning to love myself will be a challenge but I have faith I can do it! I have filled two books with compliments people have gave me.
I used to think I had admirers back home because well it was shields and boys just want to sleep with you. But I am attracting boys here :)
For being 23 years old, I have achieved a hell of a lot.
When people slag you off or look you up and down they are jealous of you. Simple fact.
Showing posts with label proud. Show all posts
Showing posts with label proud. Show all posts
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
My 2010
After posting my article on regaining my creativity, I realised I should finish detailing my year of travelling and charity work from April onwards. :)
I never did get round to making any of my own clothes but hopefully by the time I get home from Australia, my Mam will have installed a sewing machine in our redecorated spare room!
I continued my planned travels of Rome – I loved just wandering around the back streets and having ice cream at the Trevi Fountain -, Skiathos with my Mam and of course Wimbledon, Centre Court on the second day of play with lots of Pimms, darling!
These holidays would have been enough for anyone but as the avid traveller that I am, I managed to fit in rather a lot more! There were two more trips to London for Beat ambassador meetings. I hadn’t been to one in about two years, meaning I was increasingly nervous. I was worried about being the biggest one there, even though I am almost recovered. Although I do have feelings of inadequacy at the meetings now, I am glad I went as I now have a group of amazing friends who understand me like nobody else can.
I went to Leeds with fellow ambassador Laura for a little trip; I visited fellow ambassador Jolene in Liverpool, saw where the Beatles became famous and had a big night out – we also saw another fellow ambassador Kel; I went twice to Southampton to visit my gorgeous nephews, where we went to a soft play area and I was the one who got injured!
And now I am in Australia, living in Sydney, my biggest travels yet. I went to New Zealand for Christmas where I had my first warm Xmas with a BBQ and a walk on the beach. So surreal!
My charity work has consisted of a lot of media interviews, research and helping to make the new web site, My Personal Best. In June, I got the amazing opportunity to go to the Health and Well Being for young people conference in Rome. It was a three day conference, where Hannah and I attended the eating disorders workshop. There is more on this on older posts :)
In September, I attended the memorial service for those who have lost their lives to an eating disorder. It was a beautiful service and I actually felt positive afterwards. I shouldn’t let silly people get to me when I have survived an eating disorder. I owe it to those who died to make the most of my own life; I survived for a reason: to help others.
This day I had already appeared in my local newspaper (I have a great rapport with them now and have appeared in three more times!) and spoken on Radio Newcastle. At the service, Beat decided to use me for all the interviews since I ‘am so good at it!’ I did interviews for Smooth Radio, Radio 5 and ITV news.
In October, Metro Radio came to my house to interview me about the memorial service. They came again to ask for my views on the adult unit at the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle, where I went to, being moved to Darlington. My views against it were aired alongside a professional who agreed with the move. Happily my old adult unit has been saved; they have even increased their beds from five to ten! I like to hope what I said helped in some way.
Also in October, I spoke at the Annual Convention for Secretaries in Durham after my Mam’s boss requested that I be one of their speakers. It was slightly nerve racking but hey I have done this many times before! My Mam never normally sits in on my presentations but I persuaded her to this time. However, she and her colleagues all cried! I also received a standing ovation and a huge boquet of flowers! Everyone came to offer me praise: these are the times I actually feel proud of myself. And this is why I will always continue to speak truthfully and honestly about my battle with anorexia.
I never did get round to making any of my own clothes but hopefully by the time I get home from Australia, my Mam will have installed a sewing machine in our redecorated spare room!
I continued my planned travels of Rome – I loved just wandering around the back streets and having ice cream at the Trevi Fountain -, Skiathos with my Mam and of course Wimbledon, Centre Court on the second day of play with lots of Pimms, darling!
These holidays would have been enough for anyone but as the avid traveller that I am, I managed to fit in rather a lot more! There were two more trips to London for Beat ambassador meetings. I hadn’t been to one in about two years, meaning I was increasingly nervous. I was worried about being the biggest one there, even though I am almost recovered. Although I do have feelings of inadequacy at the meetings now, I am glad I went as I now have a group of amazing friends who understand me like nobody else can.
I went to Leeds with fellow ambassador Laura for a little trip; I visited fellow ambassador Jolene in Liverpool, saw where the Beatles became famous and had a big night out – we also saw another fellow ambassador Kel; I went twice to Southampton to visit my gorgeous nephews, where we went to a soft play area and I was the one who got injured!
And now I am in Australia, living in Sydney, my biggest travels yet. I went to New Zealand for Christmas where I had my first warm Xmas with a BBQ and a walk on the beach. So surreal!
My charity work has consisted of a lot of media interviews, research and helping to make the new web site, My Personal Best. In June, I got the amazing opportunity to go to the Health and Well Being for young people conference in Rome. It was a three day conference, where Hannah and I attended the eating disorders workshop. There is more on this on older posts :)
In September, I attended the memorial service for those who have lost their lives to an eating disorder. It was a beautiful service and I actually felt positive afterwards. I shouldn’t let silly people get to me when I have survived an eating disorder. I owe it to those who died to make the most of my own life; I survived for a reason: to help others.
This day I had already appeared in my local newspaper (I have a great rapport with them now and have appeared in three more times!) and spoken on Radio Newcastle. At the service, Beat decided to use me for all the interviews since I ‘am so good at it!’ I did interviews for Smooth Radio, Radio 5 and ITV news.
In October, Metro Radio came to my house to interview me about the memorial service. They came again to ask for my views on the adult unit at the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle, where I went to, being moved to Darlington. My views against it were aired alongside a professional who agreed with the move. Happily my old adult unit has been saved; they have even increased their beds from five to ten! I like to hope what I said helped in some way.
Also in October, I spoke at the Annual Convention for Secretaries in Durham after my Mam’s boss requested that I be one of their speakers. It was slightly nerve racking but hey I have done this many times before! My Mam never normally sits in on my presentations but I persuaded her to this time. However, she and her colleagues all cried! I also received a standing ovation and a huge boquet of flowers! Everyone came to offer me praise: these are the times I actually feel proud of myself. And this is why I will always continue to speak truthfully and honestly about my battle with anorexia.
Monday, 22 November 2010
30 Things I Like About Myself
I recently read a post about setting yourself the challenge of writing down thirty things you like about yourself. Here is my go:
1. I am a total bookworm and am happy to escape in other worlds.
2. I am a geek - I love learning new things.
3. The simple things matter to me when it comes to boys - holding hands, kisses, snuggling.
4. I have a random taste in music.
5. I am an avid traveller.
6. I speak French - I read books and magazines in French.
7. I give my cars names.
8. I try my best to stay in touch with friends by letter, text, email or facebook.
9. I make friends easily.
10. I am not afraid to be myself - I collect international magazines. I make collages and save articles I like. I sketch. I make memory books/scrapbooks.
11. My Mam is my best friend.
12. I like to dance in my room.
13. I am a total daydreamer.
14. I am a Beat ambassador. I am helping other people.
15. I never, ever give up - I conquered anorexia. I got my degree. I learned to ride a bike aged 15. I passed my A-Levels whilst ill.
16. I am tall and have long legs.
17. I am always smiling.
18. I have friends all over England.
19. I am an Auntie. I would love to be a mother myself.
20. I take pride in my appearance.
21. I am very family orientated.
22. I appreciate little things - like the first flowers in spring, rustling through leaves in autumn, seeing a butterfly etc.
23. I am a complex person. There is a lot people don't know about me.
24. I am always writing -blogs, articles, a novel, lists!
25. I am not afraid to try new things.
26. I am a romantic.
27. I am comfortable in my own company.
28. I am addicted to buying magazines.
29. I am proud of my 'flaws' - anorexia and self harm; as they represent my courage to overcome difficult times.
30. I am unique and I am trying to not care what other people think of me anymore.
1. I am a total bookworm and am happy to escape in other worlds.
2. I am a geek - I love learning new things.
3. The simple things matter to me when it comes to boys - holding hands, kisses, snuggling.
4. I have a random taste in music.
5. I am an avid traveller.
6. I speak French - I read books and magazines in French.
7. I give my cars names.
8. I try my best to stay in touch with friends by letter, text, email or facebook.
9. I make friends easily.
10. I am not afraid to be myself - I collect international magazines. I make collages and save articles I like. I sketch. I make memory books/scrapbooks.
11. My Mam is my best friend.
12. I like to dance in my room.
13. I am a total daydreamer.
14. I am a Beat ambassador. I am helping other people.
15. I never, ever give up - I conquered anorexia. I got my degree. I learned to ride a bike aged 15. I passed my A-Levels whilst ill.
16. I am tall and have long legs.
17. I am always smiling.
18. I have friends all over England.
19. I am an Auntie. I would love to be a mother myself.
20. I take pride in my appearance.
21. I am very family orientated.
22. I appreciate little things - like the first flowers in spring, rustling through leaves in autumn, seeing a butterfly etc.
23. I am a complex person. There is a lot people don't know about me.
24. I am always writing -blogs, articles, a novel, lists!
25. I am not afraid to try new things.
26. I am a romantic.
27. I am comfortable in my own company.
28. I am addicted to buying magazines.
29. I am proud of my 'flaws' - anorexia and self harm; as they represent my courage to overcome difficult times.
30. I am unique and I am trying to not care what other people think of me anymore.
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