Given up

I have yet to receive a reply from the agency and quite frankly i have given up with the media! Being a magazine journalism student, i feel quite disheartened with the media world. All i have wanted to do was show people that recovery is possible; eating disorders can be beaten and raise awareness. A lot more has to be done to make this possible....

My response - with quotes from beat ambassadors

Not as good as i would have liked but here it is :)

Hi Natasha

Thanks for you reply. I honestly don't know who I am mad at more: the media or the public. If the readers want pictures of us at our worst, I think it highlights even more that we need to promote awareness and show people that eating disorders are a serious mental health issue and not something to be taken lightly.

I am positive that me and the other 70 young ambassadors do not wish to give out photos ever. I explained to Katie why we do not want to talk about our lowest weight nor give out photos. Showing photos of us at our illest just sensationalises the story and makes out that eating disorders are all about weight. Another reason is these photos can act as triggers to other sufferers: we want to help others not make them feel worse. I would like to include some comments off other ambassadors on this subject:
"

what, so you woul dlie and make up something as serious as an eating disorder if you didnt show photos?! For goodness sake, I don't know if I feel more disheartened by the media response, or the public right now!!! That is about the most ridiculous thing ever..."

"To be honest, I think it's disgusting. If you are a good journalist, you can portray a picture through words, without it being triggering to the reader. Including pictures, I think only makes things worse, and individuals may feel that they 'have to look that thin to have en ED' whereas you can have an eating disorder at any weight - it's classed ... See moreas a psychological problem and weight, I think, is just a physical symptom. I did have an argument with a journalist a few months ago. As I'm a twin, and my twin is also ill, they were very interested in a story, up until the point where I said I will not be giving over any 'unhealthy photos' and surprise surprise, they didn't want to run the story. However, a few weeks later, I worked with a fantastic journalist from my local paper who portrayed my story so well.....with a healthy picture. If they want to use any of us for stories, they need to accept we are not going to hand over our unhealthy pictures. Not only can they be triggering for readers, we don't need reminding of how ill we were - sorry for the rant - us beat girls, we stick together "

"I agree with you all entirely. It really proves that this world we live in is.. well I don't even know how to word it. They are just obsessed with glamouring mental illnesses, especailly when it comes to eating disorders. It does nothing to help us and other people out their struggling. Just because a person may look 'healthy' it doesn't mean they ... See moresuffer any less. Then there's the whole competitive side to eating disorders, seeing who can be the thinnest etc. Showing photos of people when they were ill isn't saying anything. Kerry, like you said 'weight is just the symptom.'

I don't really know what else to say, things really need changing. They are still far too many people who are naive to the illness. It's like my friends and family, they see me now and see me as a healthy, happy 19 year old; Living, laughing, eating. But they don't seem to realise it's not always that simple. Just because I look healthy doesn't mean I suffer any less. Yea I have good days, but I also have bad days and I - and I'm sure you all do at times - have to fight it every day. I may have gone off the subject a little there but it makes me so angry!"


I really hope that you can help us by passing our comments on to the publications you work with so that maybe they may start to do positive recovery stories instead of all this negativity!


Regards


Rachel

Reply from media

Totally forgot to show my bloggers this:

Hi Rachel

Thanks for your email back to Katie, which she forwarded to me. I own Talk to the Press and am sorry to hear you feel failed by the media. I do understand there is a fine line that has to be trod between Beat desires (we have done many stories with Beat over the years) and the demands of the media generally, and we have always tried to follow this line.

It’s not about any publication thinking anyone is making up a story, but what readers want from stories and what editors want to illustrate a story. Unfortunately, we find ourselves in a position where it is impossible for us to place a story about an eating disorder story without pictures, which I understand is frustrating for you.

That said, we have done many stories about recovery from eating disorders and each person (a few of whom have also had help from Beat) has told us they found it a very positive experience.

We take such things on a case by case basis, but of course if someone does not wish to give photos then that is absolutely their decision and we understand completely. If there is ever an opportunity for us to place your story without pictures, such as on radio for example, we will let you know.

Best

Natasha

Silly media!

After being annoyed at the media and told by the third time that they can't do an interview with me unless I give photos at my thinnest, I retaliated and wrote this reply:

I have to admit that I am unhappy with your answer and very disappointed. As a Beat ambassador I am dedicated to promoting awareness and showing the positive side of recovery but with the women's weekly magazines' attitudes this can not be done.

I would like to point out that your agency will possibly not work with Beat in the future. I know I can say for me and the rest of the ambassadors that we do not give any photos out of us at our thinnest. We understand the media needs to show readers that we were ill but why would we make it up about having an eating disorder? We are fed up of the media concentrating on weight. Eating disorders are not all about weight. We really want to give stories that show recovery can happen but as usual the media has failed us.

I am sorry as I really wanted to do an interview with you to show that I am an example of recovery.

Regards

Rachel

Let me know what you think!

Article about me

For this year's Vogue Talent competition, contenders had to write a personal memoir. Anorexia has been such a huge part of my life so I wrote about this. I have received a lot of praise for this piece, from lecturers telling me to get it published in as many places as possible to friends saying it made them cry.

Let me know what you think of it.

This is a story about a girl who nearly lost the person she was to an illness that wanted her dead.

Nobody understood her; she was bullied by her own friends and called ugly by a boy at school; she felt like she didn’t fit in anywhere nor was she clever enough. She wanted to be invisible so nobody could pick on her anymore. So she listened to the voice that appeared in her head. The little girl’s voice that whispered, “You’re worthless; you’re fat; you’re disgusting; your life would be better if you were thin.”

The girl started to skip mealtimes and exercise up to 3 hours a day. She became obsessed with weighing herself, with losing weight and staying out of the house to avoid food. It got to the point that she could go four days without eating.

Her friends were worried about her but the only help they could find was on pro-ana sites. These sites promoted anorexia and told visitors not to listen to their friends and family, as everyone just wanted you to be fat.

The girl began to visit these sites daily, staring at the protruding ribs and spines on the girls shown in thinspiration photos.

Her mother desperately tried to find help; her father didn’t understand, believing she was doing it for attention.

The girl started to withdraw into herself more, until she could hear no-one but anorexia. Losing weight was something she excelled at.

She wanted to be in control, but sadly she did not realise that anorexia actually controlled her. Soon she couldn’t concentrate on her college work and she found it hard to breathe. It hurt to do her exercises but she forced herself through the gruelling hours. She was cold all the time, even on a hot summers day. It hurt to sit down and to take a bath because the bones in her back and bottom stuck out so much.

Soon anorexia and the health authorities caught up with her. Her BMI was only 12 and she was sent to a children’s unit. There, her life came crashing down. With no beds available, she was made an outpatient but she still had to obey by rules. She was a prisoner in her own home. She wasn’t allowed to go out; she couldn’t drive or go to work. She had to start eating three meals a day as well as drink three supplement drinks a day.

She hadn’t realised how much damage she had done to her body. She had osteoporosis, her brain had shrunk and her heart had started to eat itself. She was weeks from death.

The girls name is Rachel. The girl is me. It took me five years to recover from anorexia, the thing I once viewed as my best friend. Instead, she turned me into a selfish, lying, self-obsessed monster.

Although anorexia is the worst thing to have happened to me, it is also the best thing to have happened. I appreciate my life more now; I take risks and I do everything that I have dreamed about doing. I have been to New Zealand twice by myself; I have swum with dolphins and I have been in love. I have lived in France and I have a degree in French and German. As an ambassador for Beat (national charity for eating disorders), I have met inspirational people, I have given presentations at the House of Commons and various medical conferences.

Anorexia has also taught me more about the world and appreciating other people. I am closer to my family now and know who my real friends are. I am also happier with the person that I am. Although anorexia will always be a part of me, she is not my whole identity.

I believe that true recovery is obtained when you put yourself back into the real world, as it highlighted to me how much I was missing out on. It took me 18 months to decide I wanted to recover, a further nine months to reach my target weight and two years and nine months to be discharged from the unit, with the request that my therapist did not want to see me in there again!

Recovery was full of arguments, lies and fear. I argued about how much food I had to eat and I argued with my unit about my treatment. I lied to my mother about food I hid and the secret exercise. But most of all I was scared. I was frightened of losing anorexia as who was I without her? I also felt sick at the mere thought of food, looking as if I was being poisoned with every mouthful.

Through a lot of hard work, I realised I was more than just anorexic and I wanted to reach my potential. After all, eating disorders can be beaten.

Article on Beat and Stigma

As a magazine journalism student, I often try to write about eating disorders and Beat as so often they are misrepresented in the media.

Here is my first of many:

As a Beat ambassador, I have talked to the government and the media about my anorexia, which has had positive effects on the representation of eating disorders. Yet with the size zero debate and skinny celebrities, it’s not surprising that 78% of people still say they have experienced stigma as a result of their or their family member’s eating disorder.
As Beat celebrates it’s 21st birthday, why is there still so much stigma surrounding this mental health illness?

Beat, like many charities, is generally only known to those who are suffering or have suffered from an eating disorder.

Whenever I tell anyone who I am doing charity work for, their first question is often ‘who is Beat?’

Although Beat had it’s most successful awareness week yet this year, with extensive media coverage, the sad fact is people don’t want to talk about eating disorders. From my own experience eating disorders are very much a ‘hush-hush’ subject, just like cancer was some twenty years ago.

A survey carried out by Beaufort Research and Beat highlights the fact that not many people understand what an eating disorder actually is. The majority of people believed that eating disorders are a lifestyle choice and a quarter think that people only get eating disorders because they want to lose weight. Only one in five people believe that eating disorders are a mental health issue.

This year, Beat launched a new project in Wales, Beat Cymru. This is a five year, Big Lottery funded project dedicated to improve support and information for people affected by eating disorders in Wales.

There are currently over 50,000 people in Wales who are suffering from an eating disorder. Beat Cymru will provide self-help support groups across Wales and campaign to challenge the stigma that many people affected by an eating disorder face.

Susan Ringwood is Beat’s Chief Executive. She has worked there since the charity first began and was called the Eating Disorders Association. “Beat is determined to challenge the stigma that many people affected by eating disorders in Wales feel. It is vital that people understand how serious an eating disorder is and where they can get help and support of they are ill,” said Susan.

Eating disorders are presented by the media as diet fads or as something that only celebrities get, in their pulsing desire to be as thin as possible. They don’t realise these are life threatening illnesses. Bulimics often die of a heart attack, after the strain of constant purging. Anorexics either die from starvation or a heart attack, after their heart tissue starts to eat itself.

Anorexia is the most recognized eating disorder among society, but actually it is the least common of the illnesses. Other types are bulimia (the act of bingeing and then purging), binge eating (like bulimia but without purging) and EDNOS (eating disorders not otherwise specified – these often have traits of all the disorders, making it hard to diagnose). Nevertheless, anorexia has the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses

An eating disorder is not glamorous nor will it give you a fantastic life. Eating disorders are cold, lonely and controlling. The teeth of bulimics erode from the acid in vomit. Hamster style cheeks and hollow eyes are a feature of a bulimic’s appearance. Sometimes they relax their throat muscles too much, that the slightest movement can make them be sick. Anorexics develop osteoporosis from lack of calcium as well as become infertile after the loss of periods. Their brain shrinks and they grow light hairs all over the body in attempt to keep warm.

Pro-ana websites have also given eating disorders bad press. Wanna-rexics promote anorexia as a life style choice, with diet tips, thinspiration quotes and photos on their sites. They highlight the myth that people choose to be anorexic. This is not the case.

I wouldn’t wish anorexia on anybody. At times it felt like there was no way out. My illness wanted me dead.

Many eating disorder sufferers recall having a voice, which encouraged them to lose weight, to purge, to over exercise even when they didn’t want to. For me, it got to the point that I couldn’t hear anybody else, except anorexia. She would shout, scream and cuss at me. She would say I was worthless, I was ugly and I was fat. I believed her and I thought by becoming so thin I was invisible, my life would be better.

Susan adds that the stigma surrounding eating disorders, as well as all mental illnesses, needs to be stopped. The question is how? When high street stores won’t stock Beat’s charity badges, when GPs don’t even understand eating disorders, when the media sensationalizes recovery stories by printing photos of sufferers at their lowest weight and when the general public call people with mental illnesses “crazy” and “freaks”, a lot needs to be changed.

Beat, along with it’s dedicated team of young ambassadors, are hoping to tackle the myths surrounding eating disorders as well as fighting stigma. Their first step this year was to produce The Beat Manifesto, asking the next government to take five practical steps to improve “treatment, understanding and support for people affected by eating disorders.”

Beat has asked it’s ambassadors and members to support the manifesto. They want people to tell them how they can do more, “drive the change and continue in” their “mission to beat eating disorders.”

With girls as young as eight are developing eating disorders, the media has a vital role to play to help out. If magazines celebrated different types of body shapes, perhaps less girls and women would feel dissatisfied with their bodies.

Positively, more curvy models are being booked in the fashion world. Perhaps journalists, stylists and designers are changing their views towards size zero. Yet there is still a long way to go.

As Susan rightly points out, “eating disorders are not about magazine headlines.” Journalists tend to focus on the low weight of a sufferer, demanding photos of them at their lowest rather than explaining the damage and distress caused.

To celebrate their 21st birthday, the charity is holding various events, including an exhibition of photographs and memoirs looking back at the past 21 years of Beat. It was launched during Eating Disorders Awareness Week but will tour many venues during the year.

A special memorial service is being held on the 28th September at Southwark Cathedral to remember those who have lost their lives to eating disorders.

There has been progress of raising awareness, especially within the media. Perhaps it needs to be accepted that fighting all stigma is going to take time. Last year, Beat received over 500 requests from national and international media. Famous people are starting to feel comfortable enough to reveal past eating disorders too. John Prescott, former Deputy Prime Minister, admitted to a personal battle with bulimia which in turn resulted in a tenfold increase in men calling the helplines. By people willing to talk about their experience, more people pluck up the courage to seek help.

Hollyoaks began an anorexia storyline in 2007. The storyline’s main character, Hannah, is still battling her eating disorder, showing successfully that recovery can take years. Scriptwriters worked closely with Beat and its members and have been praised for its “realistic and provocative coverage of mental health issues.” It is also the first TV programme to feature a fatality from anorexia.

One scriptwriter on Hollyoaks said, “I’m really glad to have worked with Beat on the eating disorders storyline. It’s opened my eyes to something I had a very fuzzy understanding of.”

Working closely with the media will provide better coverage and awareness, especially in targeting younger people.

I hope we don’t have to wait another 21 years until no one is ashamed of having an eating disorder.

Italty conference 2

Outside our workshop were posters of statements about eating disorders that arose on day one. However post-its were available to write your own thoughts so as an ambassador I wrote LOADS!

An Italian minister stopped to talk to me after I had written that eating disorders are more than just a diet; after a comment was written implying they were. He wasn't impressed with the outdated comment and praised me for standing up to it =]

Here are the statements I wrote.

Eating disorders workshop

Pro recovery!

Eating disorders are more than just weight and food

I am more than just my appearance

I am going to love myself flaws and all!

Recovery is about finding out who you really are and regaining your identity.
Goodbye anorexia!

ED sufferers have a voice too

EDS are NOT about being as thin as possible

I am an example that EDS can be beaten. Recovered anorexic

Eating disorders are NOT a diet gone wrong

Italy should have their own eating disorders charity

Motivate us! Don’t say we can’t do something

We are stronger than you think!

Italty conference

In June this year, I was given an amazing opportunity to speak at the Conference on Health and Well Being (ENRYCH) in Rome. There was a lot of media attraction, including TV channels and many Italian ministers were there.

I attended the eating disorders workshop and on the third day was able to give a talk with fellow ambassador Hannah. Here is my speech from the day:

My name is Rachel Cowey and I am from the North East England. I am 23 years old and I am a student. I have a degree in French and German and now I am studying my MA in magazine journalism. There is a misconception that anorexics are stupid but I disagree!

I am a young ambassador and am training to be a mentor.

Beat promotes the awareness of eating disorders through extensive research, media work, conferences and training for schools, professionals and carers.

The website has information for sufferers, parents, families and friends. It contains press releases and guidelines for the media. There is a young persons section which has message boards, live chats, Recovery Club and work written or done by young ambassadors.

There will be a new web site by the end of the year focused on recovery and motivation and there is a beat mentor project. There are 70 ambassadors ranging from the age of 14 to 24. We receive media training as well as support.

I have been an ambassador for almost five years. I have given presentations at the House of Commons twice and been involved in a question and answer session. I have spoken at health conferences both eating disorders related and gynaecologists. Beat produced a leaflet explaining my story which raised 11 million pounds from the National Lottery. This was a great sense of achievement that I had done so much to raise funds for a charity that has helped me enormously.

I have done a lot of media work: I was involved in a meeting with different magazines, informing them how best to report eating disorders and to make them aware that we are not comfortable giving photos of when we were at our illest as it sensationalises the subject and acts as a trigger to other sufferers. This is the same regarding what weight we dropped to. This is also because we know that eating disorders are not about being thin. There are many sufferers who have an eating disorder but are still a healthy weight.

I have spoken to radio stations, magazines, newspapers and web sites. Next month I will be appearing in leading woman’s magazine, Cosmopolitan which is both daunting and exciting! The media has become more interested in talking about eating disorders in a responsible manner. On Monday I appeared in my local newspaper speaking about my anorexia and the fact I had been given an amazing opportunity to speak at this conference. After this article the media has taken a big interest in me. Although it feels like I have been bombarded, I am happy that I have been given the chance to promote awareness and hopefully helped put an end to stigma. On Wednesday I appeared on a radio station speaking about this conference and I think both the radio station and newspaper will want to do a follow up story when I come back from Rome.

I have also been approached by two different media agencies who want to do features on me for magazines. I am also featured on someone’s blog who thought my story was inspirational.

With this media interest and the rise in young ambassadors, I truly believe we can make a difference. I want to make something positive out of a terrible part of my life – I want to help others and show that you can survive such a controlling illness – the illness that wanted me dead. Six years ago I was told I was going to die. The fact I am standing her today proves that eating disorders can be beaten!

Things I like about being an ambassador for Beat:

I meet people who understand me straight away;

I have met amazing people who are braver than anyone I know;

I get to do incredible things;

I have a purpose;

I am raising awareness;

I am helping others;

And best of all I am making something positive out of an illness that wanted me dead.

What I have done for Beat so far:

A Q & A session at the House of Commons
Two presentations at the House of Commons
Two presentations at the Conference on Health and Well Being of Young People in Rome
Two presentations at the Teenage Anorexia Nervosa Conference in Cambridge
Presentation at EDA (Beat)’s annual meeting
A Q & A session in Manchester
Media conference with leading magazine journalists
Presentation at the Royal College of Gynaecologists
Presentation at the UK Youth Parliament
Gave my views at Royal College of Psychiatrists audit
A meeting with David Millaband, my local MP
Interviews with:
The Shields Gazette
The Evening Chronicle
BBC Radio Newcastle
Metro Radio
Real Radio
Sunday Surgery
Cosmopolitan
Sunderland Echo
Adlib magazine

Research for Universities and University students
Filmed for a University student
Patient representative for Royal Victoria Infirmary, Newcastle
Hosted a live chat for Beat
Helped Beat create their website and new logo
Wrote articles for Beat’s website
Wrote articles and edited on issue of the then called Talkback magazine
Media training
Part of Beat mentor project
My story was produced in a leaflet and raised 11 million pounds from the National Lottery
An article I wrote on motivation for Talkback was printed in leaflets because it was liked so much
Wrote articles for the Sunderland Echo and Sunderland University’s online magazine, Detour

Me...

I have been a Beat ambassador for five years this September. Beat is the leading charity for eating disorders in the UK and possibly Europe too. They are dedicated to raising awareness in schools, the government, the media etc. They want to improve services and support sufferers.

Check them out at www.b-eat.co.uk

This blog is to record my efforts as a Beat ambassador =]

Recovery Is Possible

I am a firm believer that recovery is possible for all sufferers of an eating disorder. However I am also strongly against inpatient treatment unless it is the only option or there are too many health implications. Instead I think that true recovery comes from being in real life.

Happily, I am now classed as recovered but I still want to help others. To give people a place to help each others, share recovery tips as well as my own.

My recovery

I’ll admit, when I first got taken to the unit, I didn’t want to recover. In fact, I hardly put any weight on during the first 18 months and it got to the point that I was nearly discharged from the unit because they couldn’t help me anymore. Something clicked in me then and I knew that I wanted something more than what anorexia was giving me.

Putting myself back into the real world is what helped for me. For starters it helped that from day one I was an outpatient with my mother as my main carer. I was among my own things; people could visit me as and when they liked and I did not have to be tube fed (although I did suffer the ‘delights’ of Ensure supplement drinks!’). I didn’t have to readjust to living at home after being in hospital. Plus my mother did what she thought was best for me – this included starting off with smaller portions and going against what the unit wanted of keeping me prisoner in my bedroom. Instead she allowed me to go out a few times a week as long as I got a lift there and back.

My motivation to get into university encouraged me to eat yet I still wasn’t prepared to give up anorexia. I decided to recover when I realised I couldn’t achieve my dreams at the weight I was nor could I be like others my own age. So I began to work hard at my recovery. I ate meals with close friends; I ate meals on my own; I did various therapy exercises; I had a part time job and I passed my driving test. I pushed myself to make new friends and involve myself in a social life. I accepted invitations I would have normally said no to; I even went to New Zealand on my own after an invite to stay with a friend! I learnt to accept emotions and even allowed myself to fall in love.

Although I often still have to do self-esteem exercises and I am no good at relationships, I have managed to stop anorexia darkening my door again. This is from realising that I can’t have my life with anorexia. I can’t go out partying; I can’t do my masters; I can’t have two part time jobs; I can’t wear pretty clothes and I can’t drive my car. With anorexia, I am dependent, my parents don’t trust me and younger family members are scared to talk to me. With anorexia, I don’t have a future: with recovery, I do. I know which one I would choose, do you?