Australia...

I am leaving for Australia in two weeks time! I will admit I am terrified but at the same time I feel like this is something I need to do.

Over there people will only know about my anorexia if I choose to tell them... No one needs to know that I am insecure or how rubbish I am with boys. I can pretend to be confident; I can be the real me.

Hopefully I will eventually get over my ex too. Whats the saying? Out of sight, out of mind. I hope its true coz I cant take this anymore. The feeling of inadequacy against all the girls he chooses over me.

Plus in Oz there are so many opportunities. I can swim with dolphins again, hug a koala, go snorkelling in the great barrier reef, learn to surf, meet new people etc.

Mostly I am excited. And maybe a new me will return!

bad impact

I know that strangers don't know I've been through anorexia but the slightest comment out of turn can send me backwards. I so wish it didn't. I just take everything too much to heart.

On a night out last week, a man came up to me and asked if I was pregnant. My world came crashing down. If strangers are asking me this then I must be fat surely? I hate thinking like this as I'm an ambassador and I want to be a good role model. Yet right now all I want to do is diet and exercise to the max "/

I hope to have a more positive outlook soon and stop letting idiots get to me.