Okay so today I am wearing pretty colours for my new happy, healthy future as well as my lush Once upon a time necklace as I do hope to achieve my dreams. So why am I feeling completely miserable then?
I guess after saying goodbye to the past, I do realise I have to work on the issues that are still having an affect on the present.
My plans got sidetracked by anorexia and now I am far behind on my path to becoming a journalist. I should have done a hell of a lot more work experience/intern, I should be writing more and I should have done a journalism degree not just a MA. I regret the things I have not done but hope to make them right.
I dont like the job I am in so every day is a struggle to get to 5pm!
When my ex went off with other girls and never wanted me, it made me feel worthless, lonely and ugly. I feel like everything I did was never enough. I dont know how to get out of this as yes I do receive compliments etc but the one person I wanted to want me didnt and it hurts so bad.
After reading out everything that went on between us, I now feel like an idiot for everything that I allowed to go on.
And after deleting facebook and stopping being an ambassador, I know for a fact hardly anyone will stay in touch with me. So basically I have three great friends and I am very thankful to have them :)
I think you are amazing and a true inspiration :-) X X X
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