Being Home

I always knew returning home would be hard but I didnt realise it would bring loads of emotions back.

I did so well in Australia with becoming more confident and learning to like who I am. Yet my home town is threatening to spoil all my good work:

*I feel like a bad person because Ive made some terrible mistakes in the past

*I have urges to self harm but Im desperately trying to distract myself

*I saw my ex for the first time last week and it surprised me how much it hurt

*I'm lonely and wish I could find a guy who liked me

I am trying to keep up the positive insights I learned in Australia. I have ignoring my friends petty arguments. I have deleted my ex off Facebook again as he keeps trying to talk to me and I dont know what his game is. I have a full time job and I am determined to make my life amazing :). I am doing what I want to do and not answer to others.

I know I need distractions as when I came back from living in France I self harmed to the extreme that I had to go to hospital.

I have spent far too many years needing a guys attention; kissing and later sleeping with guys to feel wanted. I think its time to take time out for myself