As you may know I have been struggling the last couple of weeks. In fact I have struggled a lot more in Australia than I have let on to anybody. So when I saw a triggering photo, it set off my underlying problems and I began to do all my bad habits again.
Until I got ill. my inflamed sternum flared up after all the exercise I had done; I was dizzy due to restricting and vomiting; I had insane stomach cramps; I couldnt be bothered to do anything; I had a cold because my immune system is rubbish anyway from anorexia.
Having to stop and rest made me think. Was it really all worth it? Of course not.
Anorexia is lonely and tiring.
Anorexia makes me sick, snappy and moody.
Anorexia strips away the person I am.
Anorexia makes me into a girl not a woman.
Anorexic is not who I am anymore.
I have come too far in my recovery to let anorexia take over my life again. I have too many ambitions and dreams that I want to achieve. I sure as hell dont want to go backwards; back to a life of nothing.
So goodbye anorexia. You cant fool me this time!
WOW - amazing... so please that you have been able to come to this decision and realisation yourself. It is so much stronger when it comes from within you... forgive me if I spend my life reminding you of this though! haha.
ReplyDeleteRecovery is a process, it is not an instant thing. You will learn as you go through it and you will grow stronger along the way.
Keep up the amazing work.
Love,
AsR
good riddance to bad rubbish.
ReplyDeleteRachel is farrrr tooooo strong, courageous, and good for you anorexia.
Battle on love. x
Good Luck!!!
ReplyDeleteFalling into bad habits is bad.
Anorexia is not fun.
You lose your friends.
You lose your self esteem.
Its not a life I want to live, and its not a life I want anyone to live, but so many people struggle with it, and the recovery process is long and arduous.
But you can get through it.
I can get through it.
You just have to believe in yourself.
xx